L...O...V...E

L...is for the way she looks to us!!
O...is for the only one we see!!
V...she is very, very extraordinary!!
E...even more than anyone we can adore!!

Well it has been quite sometime since I have written in here, so here it goes. I am the happiest person on the face of this earth and I owe it all to the most amazing husband Jeremiah and the most b-e-a-utiful little girl Ellah. I will have to say something about pregnancy before I fill you in on a few things....I am way disappointed with it. Not with everything, I know I had an extremely rough pregnancy and everyone should not be this way, if I get all these health problems taken care of but goodness....I was so looking forward to those wonderful cravings...I wanted to crave that humburger and maybe a huge roast or maybe some onion rings but no way, I didn't crave anything but gummy bears and I wasn't able to really eat anything, sick to my stomach all the time, man was I bummed out!!
Well as you might all know I had to have a c-section basically decided less than 24 hrs before she was born. She was breach but after everything that had been happening, Dr. Richey decided to not chance it and risk taking her "normal". I was actually perfectly happy going with the c-section because I just wanted her to be safe and in the doctor's hands as soon as possible. I remeber being prepped and feeling like a lost soul, they didn't allow Jeremiah back just yet and I was up on the table, freezing and shaking as they are about to perform the spinal tap and finally I feel warmth, the spinal tap is working and it didn't even hurt and then I see Jeremiah, I was so happy to see him and hold his hand. Well I won't go into details on the surgery but the moment she came out, they quickly lifted her over the curtain and she let out this little cry and then they took her away and I looked at Jeremiah and a tear came out, we were a family!!! I don't remember a lot about the next 24 hrs, I was as they say "hanging out on cloud 9" or somewhere nice. I remember a few things, the nurse in the recovery room making me very angry, trying to push my drug button and not having it in my hand and loving the catheder due to not having to get up all the time to use the bathroom. I do remember coming off the magnesium and being very out of it and wondering if I really had a child.
Well I was forced to get out of bed and that was by far the most difficult thing I have ever experienced, the nurse was losing patience with me but I did not care, she had never had a c-section and so she could not talk. Anyway, recovery has been very tough but wanting to see my little girl has been the best thing for me. I have to get out of bed, walk down the hall and down to the NICU, that is a lot of effort and she means the world to me. I was told to keep getting up and moving and then yesterday I was told to rest because I was over doing it, goodness they confuse me!! The most painful part of recovery is yes, the GAS!! Oh my goodness, I have never had problems with passing gas, if you all know me well and these past few days I have been in pure pain because of it. But due to some wonderful procedures and medication it has been cured....we won't go into those options though.
One of the first times I remember seeing Ellah in the NICU I cried...I can't explain the feelings that went through me and all the emotions. She was beautiful and perfect...how happy I was she was okay. The bad part was, I tried to supress my tears and that hurt my stomach like no other so I cried even more due to the pain....crazy red head!! My milk is coming in great, its wonderful. She is eating my milk and loving life. Last night Jeremiah and I was able to perform what they call kangaroo care...skin to skin contact...pure bliss. We were able to hold out little girl in a closed off space, skin to skin, feeling our heart beat and smelling the smell of our skin...we went in there and she was awake, she looked right at us and knew right away, her mommy and daddy were there. I still cry almost every time we see her, especially when I see Jeremiah hold her. Being a mom is great and the best present in the world....it has only just started!! I am in love with my family!!